Lifestyle

Receipts Podcast: I’ve been embarrassed about sex since I was a teenager

Tolani Shoneye

I was always thinking about it Sex was for men, Created just for their joy. It explains why they gagged so much, why sex was consistently bought and sold by them, and why they found the sight of boobs (literally a bag of fat hanging from a woman’s chest). .. In fact, I’ve heard that women rarely talk about sex like men do. Women mainly used sex as a bargaining tool. It was a way to get what they really wanted. My aunt used it to reward and punish her partner School girls used sex in exchange for attention. The idea that women get joy from sex didn’t really come to mind.

In the conversation for me, I didn’t really talk about sex. Yes, I heard my mother talk about it, but around me and my sisters, my mother never even said the word sex. She called it “fun,” but the word was full of shame and fear. This “fun” not only “makes you cheaper”, but also makes you pregnant, which of course embarrasses your family. The only version of “Talk” I had was after I started my period. My mother made me sit in bed and told me not to take the boy nearby because I would be pregnant.

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Throughout history, from “koala clamps” to ladies delight, sex manuals have taught us how to be a better lover.

And there was a church. There, young leaders further solidified the idea that sex, my body, and my sex part were bad, and that I should be a good girl. So, the day I saw Usher on the Pops and felt the glitter of Fanny fluttering, I felt embarrassed, so I ran upstairs and rinsed. I was made to believe that there was no business to enjoy sex, and when I turned on the power without permission, I felt disgusted with my body. My sexuality isn’t really mine and I didn’t try to claim it.

But over time, outside of my world, conversations about sex have changed. We started the Receipts Podcast, and I was around a woman who was normalizing a conversation about women’s joy. I had a conversation that didn’t make me feel embarrassed. Contrary to what I believed for a long time, sex is for women and sex is for me.

Audrey Indome

Sexuality in African culture is deeply rooted in patriarchy and follows certain biblical rules. Growing up in a Ghanaian family, I couldn’t talk about sex. I don’t think I’ve heard that word at all. Add the fact that I attended a strict Catholic school for elementary and junior high school, and this meant it was always taboo. Prior to colonization, some Africans had a very generous view of sexuality, and in certain cultures women were allowed to have additional sexual lovers (including women). ..

Initially, I was afraid to talk too much about sex on podcasts. Because women are judged very rigorously and are labeled as soon as they do.

I was told that sex should come when you get married, not before you get married. At the wedding of my parents, and at the wedding of several aunts and uncles who like to preach about purity, I noticed that I was standing with my children in math. It wasn’t until I was old enough to do it. But as adults, I understand that they are only trying to protect our innocence.

I learned almost everything I knew about sex in teen magazines and problem pages. The problematic page was part of a magazine that sent a dilemma to aunts who are suffering people for advice, much like we do with your receipts. More! The magazine was the most edgy teenage magazine, probably suitable for teens older than me, but I bought it weekly and skipped directly to this month’s sex positions and issues page. I read and covered the cover of the magazine and then threw it into an outside bottle so my mom wouldn’t catch me.

Initially, I was afraid to talk too much about sex on podcasts. Because women are judged very rigorously and are labeled as soon as they do. But if you don’t let the label define you, it can’t offend you, especially when you stop learning so many patriarchal metaphors about sex.

Milena Sanchez

My relationship with sex isn’t always going well, and for some people sex can be very complex and triggering. I have always had a very open relationship with sex. I speak very publicly and freely about it, and I have never been afraid to express my desires and needs. I was like this, despite the immature people who automatically think that being sex-positive is a “hoe.”

I think the beauty of my generation is that they are actively beginning to unravel all these “rules” of sex and sexuality.

But one of the reasons I’m so open may be that I was sexually abused as a kid. It really shaped my relationship with sex, no matter how much I tried to stop it. I felt that sex wasn’t this sacred to me because my innocence had already been robbed, so I started exploring things much faster than otherwise.

For such a long time, women have been policed ​​and looked down on for having sexual desire. For a long time we were made to believe that we were there to serve our partners (in many cultures, these views remain). I think the beauty of my generation is that they are actively beginning to unravel all these “rules” of sex and sexuality. We are thinking about our needs, desires and desires. It would be amazing if a podcast helped empower women even a little.

This is an edited excerpt from Please keep the receipt Published by Tolani Shoneye, Milena Sanchez, Audrey Indome Heading July 8th.You can listen to their podcast Here..

Receipts Podcast: I’ve been embarrassed about sex since I was a teenager

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