One of the wealthiest couples in the world has announced a divorce. Twitter explodes with questions about why we care, why their work can definitely demand privacy when they rob someone else’s work, and what happens to their philanthropy. But my main idea is-their youngest is just 18 years old.
After 27 years of marriage, why did you choose to close now? I don’t know either personally (I’m sorry I want to check out a 20-foot trampoline room), but there’s plenty of evidence to suggest that I care a lot about my three kids.
They kept them out of the public eye to protect their privacy, banned cell phones until the age of 14, and Melinda gave up the job of raising them, and building He took his eldest son to school (and included Ed Sheeran on his uninhabited island disc because his youngest loved him …). So were they together for the kids?
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We will never know unless they decide to reveal it in future memoirs or the Netflix series. But I would be surprised if their children weren’t a big factor. As a father, you are unlikely to custody your child, and divorce can have short-term and long-term consequences for them of all kinds. In a survey of 1,400 families, parents found that their children’s behavior immediately after divorce suffered from endurance compared to water torture in China.
If your child is young, you have to find cash to build a home for two families (Obviously not a problem for GatesAnd if you are a public figure, you must take into account the media attention to both you and your children – another reason to be late. Therefore, perhaps this was a carefully planned move to prioritize the well-being of children.
Does that mean everyone should be together for the kids? In a study conducted in the United States that tracked thousands of couples, sociologists found that separated or divorced people fall into one of two groups. About half divorced because they were completely miserable and often had abusive relationships with very fierce conflicts. They were happy when they left.
But the other half was less arguable, less abusive, and relatively happy. Not only did they lose happiness after divorce (or at least four to seven years later, when interviewed), but they probably also applied to their children.
So the answer is: it’s complicated. If you are in an abusive relationship, the best result is to leave (if you can safely do so). If you have a happy relationship but think the grass is greener, think about what it would be like in winter.
But what if the grass is really attractive, even when the temperature drops? Gates did not lighten this decision if their press release was true. After decades of working together and raising billions of dollars in philanthropy and what looks like three highly beloved children, perhaps their relationship simply carried out that course. .. Divorce can be the best decision for everyone involved, although it can be painful.
Laura Mucha We need to talk about love, £ 10.99, Bloomsbury Publishing
Experts on why being together for kids is not always a bad idea
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